[Sean, Xu, and Quistis are standing on a stage waiting for a cue that is long overdue. A nervous looking Beans pokes her head out from between the curtains before deciding that it's safe to come out.] Sean: [rubbing his hands together with anticipation] "So, are we ready for the final part of Quandry's omake? And do we get to see more of Xu's panties in this part?" [Xu gives Sean a dirty look while Beans hedges away from the characters] Beans: "Um... not exactly." Xu: "What do you mean 'not exactly'? I've caught Sean trying to look up my skirt four times in the last two weeks. I want this omake over with!" Sean: [innocent look] "I was doing it for you, Xu-chan! Just making sure you didn't have any green paint on your panties." Xu: "... You see what I have to live with?" Beans: "Well, um, Quandry's gone to Disneyworld. He'll be back to finish the omake after he's done tagging the Magic Kingdom." Quistis: "Lucky, I want to go to Disneyworld." Sean: [placing an arm across Xu's shoulders] "Remember the last time you and I went to Disneyland and especially the Haunted Mansion? And when the car holding the two of us stopped and the lights went out. Even in the dark I could see the shine of your eyes as we--" [Sean stops and wiggles his eyebrows seductively at her.] Xu: [pushing Sean away] "I don't know what final fantasy you're living in, but we've never been to an amusement park together." Quistis: "Ano... wasn't the last time you were alone in the dark during the power outage last week?" Xu: "Yep, Sean and I were in the Training Center when the lights cut out. A Grat wrapped a limb around Sean's head when he got a bit too close." Sean: [pouting] "If you hadn't moved, I wouldn't have missed when I tried to grab your hand..." Beans: [nearly worked her way over to the edge of the stage!] "Anyhow, this week's omake is a bit of filler I wrote to keep you guys occupied. We're doing another classic literature omake." Xu: --; "Not finished beating a dead horse, are you?" Sean: "Is Captain Cactaur considered classic literature?" Beans: [leaping off the stage and fleeing!] "Uh, sure... See ya!" Xu: "I hate the authors when they're here and even more so when they're not. I just can't win..." Sowing the SeeDs OMAKE THEATRE 7!!! [Chibis Xu, Sean, and Quistis are gathered around a fire on a chilly winter night. Chibi-Xu is sitting in a comfortable chair with a large book resting on her lap. Chibi-Quistis is sitting by her feet leaned up against the chair. Chibi-Sean is sitting perched on the armrest.] Chibi-Xu: "Welcome to another Omake Theatre, where Garden cultivates a sense of learning." [Chibi-Xu pauses as she waits for someone to make a stupid crack about her pun.] Crickets: "..." Chibi-Quistis: "What are you going to read for us tonight?" [Chibi-Xu holds up the book so that everyone can see it] Chibi-Xu: ^^v "'The Tonberry Tales'." Chibi-Sean: [dryly] "Old Geoffrey's probably rolling in his grave..." Chibi-Xu: "... Let's begin, shall we?" Whan that aprill with his shoures soote The droghte of march hath perced to the roote, And bathed every veyne in swich licour Of which vertu engendred is the flour; Chibi-Sean: o.O; ^-^ "I always knew you had a skilled tongue Xu-chan." Chibi-Quistis: "What language is that?" Chibi-Xu: "Middle English, Quistis-chan." Chibi-Quistis: [curious] "How come we never hear your speak in your native language?" Chibi-Sean: [leaning down to speak privately with Chibi-Quistis] "Because it's the forbidden language of passionate love-mak*OAF!*" [Chibi-Xu glares at Chibi-Sean, who was abruptly shoved to the floor from his perch on the armrest. Chibi-Quistis turns to Chibi-Sean, who is now seated beside her.] Chibi-Sean: [rubbing his tailbone] "Hey, I wasn't the one who wrote the Kama Xutra." Chibi-Quistis: "Did you read the Tonberry Tales when you were younger, Sean-sempai?" Chibi-Sean: "Of course I did! Especially the one with baths in it." Chibi-Xu: [sigh!] "If you read this before you'd know that the Tale of the Wife of Bath has nothing to do with baths." Chibi-Sean: ^^v "Not in the version I read." Chibi-Xu: [whacks Chibi-Sean with the book] "If you're finished, I'd like to continue." Chibi-Quistis: "Let's skip the Prologue and go on to the Knight's Tale." The image of red Mars, with spear and shield So shone upon his banner's snow-white field Chibi-Quistis: ^^ "I saw Mars on 'Sailor Moon' yesterday!" Chibi-Xu: [pat pat] ^^; "Thank you for sharing, Quistis-chan." It made a billowing glitter up and down; And by the banner borne was his pennon, On which in beaten gold was worked, complete, The Minotaur, which he had slain in Crete. Chibi-Sean: "... I thought Minotaur was in the Tomb of the Unknown King." [An angry Chibi-Guardian Force pops up!] Chibi-Sacred: "What's all this about someone killin' my bro?" Chibi-Sean: "When are we going to get to the good stuff like the Wife of Bath's Tale?" Chibi-Xu: "Fine! I know you'll whine until we get there." "My love?" cried he, "nay, rather my damnation! Alas! that any of my race and station Should ever so dishonoured foully be!" But all for naught; the end was this, that he Was so constrained he needs must go and wed, And take his ancient wife and go to bed. Chibi-Quistis: o.O! Chibi-Sean: "Woohoo! I *knew* there was a reason that this was my favorite one!" "Now since you say that I am foul and old, Then fear you not to be made a cuckold; For dirt and age, as prosperous I may be; Are mighty wardens over chastity. Nevertheless, since I know your delight, I'll satisfy your worldly appetite." [Chibi-Xu stops reading abruptly and looks down at Chibi-Sean, who has a broad grin plastered on his face.] Chibi-Quistis: "Sean-sempai, are you all right?" Chibi-Sean: *_* "We'll discuss it when you're older, Quistis-chan. Xu and I can discuss it tonight if she'd like..." [Chibi-Sean shakes it off.] Chibi-Sean: "So when are we getting to the bath part?" Chibi-Xu: "Haven't you been listening? The Wife is *from* Bath, not taking one!" Chibi-Sean: "Are you sure?" Chibi-Xu: --; "Baka." Chibi-Sean: "I think we should act this stuff out. It will help us remember it better and all. I'll go get the towels, Xu can draw the bath..." [Chibi-Xu pummels him with the book again.] Chibi-Quistis: o.O; "He's going to need a bath to clean that up..." Chibi-Xu: "Should I finish this Tale or not?" [Chibi-Quistis gives Chibi-Sean a pleading look to not anger Chibi-Xu further. Chibi-Sean settles down and Chibi-Xu continues.] That she so very fair was, and young too, For joy he clasped her in his strong arms two, His heart bathed in a bath of utter bliss; Chibi-Sean: "HAHAHA! I *told* you there was a bath involved!!" A thousand times, all in a row, he'd kiss. And she obeyed his wish in everything That might give pleasure to his love-liking. Chibi-Sean: "Now that's my kind of woman!" Chibi-Quistis: "'Love-liking'?" Chibi-Xu: [pat pat] ^^; "Never mind, Quistis-chan." And thus they lived unto their lives' fair end, In perfect joy; and Jesus to us send Meek husbands, and young ones, and fresh in bed, Chibi-Sean: ^^v And good luck to outlive them that we wed. And I pray Jesus to cut short the lives Of those who'll not be governed by their wives; Chibi-Sean: o.O "Erk!" And old and querulous niggards with their pence, And send them soon to mortal pestilence! Chibi-Sean: "Wha- what does *that* mean?!" [Chibi-Chaos pops up from behind the chair!] Chibi-Chaos: "It means 'Submit to Xu or suffer the consequences.'" [Chibi-Chaos is abruptly punted through the ceiling by an enraged Chibi-Xu.] Chibi-Sean: ;_; "I'd submit to her, but she won't let me!" Chibi-Xu: --; "I think we've had enough for tonight. Come along, Quistis-chan, we have training in the morning." [Chibis Xu and Quistis leave Sean to find his own bed. While the pervert is admiring the sway of Xu's hips as she leaves the room, Chaos falls through the hole in the ceiling and hits the floor with a thud.] Chibi-Chaos: [nursing a bruised elbow] "Couldn't you have done something to break my fall? Put out a couple throw pillows at the very least?" [Chibi-Sean, with a dreamy look on his face, continues to ignore Chibi-Chaos.] Chibi-Sean: "I hope she tucks me in before going to bed next time." [The author gives him a sour look.] Chibi-Chaos: "In your dreams, monster bait." [End!]