Dr. Kadowaki.
     By day she's a mild-mannered doctor at Balamb Garden.
     But when the night comes and all the cadets have gone to bed,
she removes her glasses and then dons her skintight, black spandex
costume and becomes...NURSE SPANK-ME GENTLY!!!


Dr. Kadowaki: [irately stomping on His lordship Chaos] "WHAT?!"

Xu: --;; "Our sincerest apologies. That part of the omake has
nothing to do with our real, personal lives. Ne, Kadowaki, you can
stop drilling his head into the floor with you stiletto shoes now."

Chaos: x.x [twitch twitch!] "H-Hai...!"

Dr. Kadowaki: "Oh, you'll probably be joining me once you discover
the latest omake he's created with you."

Xu: o.O;;



                        Sowing the SeeDs:

                         OMAKE THEATRE 4



     [Cue Chibi-Greenbeans popping up with a disclaimer sign!]

Chibi-Greenbeans: "Just for the record, I had NOTHING to do with
this omake!"

Chibi-Chaos: [scratching his head] "But aren't you responsible for
posting it on--"

Chibi-Greenbeans: ^^;; [smacking Chaos in the face with her sign]
"Shut up, Chaos."

     [The scene abruptly changes to Xu and Quistis' dorm room in
Balamb Garden. Chibi-Quistis is sitting on her swivel chair,
letting her feet kick in the air. Chibi-Sean is busy getting
his butt kicked at Triple Triad by Chibi-Xu on the lower bunk. And
Chibi-Kei is idly polishing her katana sword up on the top bunk.]

Chibi-Sean: "Go fish."

Chibi-Xu: --;; "For the last time, there is no 'fishing' for cards
in Triple Triad!"

Chibi-Sean: "Can I at least call some of your bluffs then?"

Chibi-Xu: "No."

Chibi-Quistis: "Um...guys? We're on."

     [Suddenly noticing that the omake's already started, Chibi-
Sean and Chibi-Xu scramble to hide their cards under the covers,
Chibi-Sean adeptly hiding his prized Bahamut card by stuffing it
into his mouth. Chibi-Kei, in a moment of surprise, tries to
conceal her sword by flinging it over her head and impaling the
ceiling with it.]

Chibi-Quistis: [shaking her head] "Sometimes I wonder what Cid sees
in them."

Chibi-Xu: [straightening her uniform out] "Welcome once again to
our Sowing the SeeDs omake." 

Chibi-Kei: "And the first person to make any bad pun about
fertilizing young minds gets an Ifrit right up their--"

Chibi-Xu: ^^;; "I think the readers get the idea, Kei."

Chibi-Quistis: [wriggling uncomfortably] "That sounds like it would
hurt."

Chibi-Sean: "Um...ladies? The omake?"

Ladies: "Hai!"

Chibi-Sean: ^-^ "Today, we're going to be examining one of those
pieces of classic literature."

Chibi-Xu: "YOU are into classic literature?"

Chibi-Sean: [feigning hurt] "Xu, you wound me. Really, that hurts.
Did I not pass all my literature classes with flying colours?"

Chibi-Kei: "As I recall, you spent most of your time reading
Captain Cactuar comics hidden in your textbooks during the
tutorials, and then crammed frantically the night before a test."

Chibi-Sean: --;; "Oh, how would you know? When were you in those
tutorials?"

Chibi-Quistis: [confused] "So...you did just cram before the
tests?"

Chibi-Sean: ^^;; "Getting back to our Book of the Omake special,
first up we have this new children's book written by Lieutenant Biggs
of the Galbadian military: 'How The Grinch Stole My Promotion'."

Chibi-Kei: "That's supposed to be classic literature?"

Chibi-Sean: [aside to Kei] "We're getting a hundred gil each just
to promote this book."

Chibi-Kei: ^-^ "So go out and buy 'How The Grinch Stole My
Promotion.' Don't forget to check out Biggs' other works like
'Your NORG Can Moo, Can You?'"

Chibi-Xu: "I hear Zell's also coming out with some books: 'I Can 
Lick 30 Grats Today', and 'Are You My Hotdog?'"

     [Chibi-Quistis gives a loud, deliberate cough.]

Chibi-Quistis: "If we're done hocking for our sponsors...."

Chibi-Sean: "Quite right. Now then, here is today's classic book!"

     [Chibi-Sean unveils a large, old text bound in leather with
strange markings on the cover.]

Chibi-Quistis: "I can't read the title; it's a foreign language.
What does it say, Sean?"

Chibi-Sean: ^-^v "The Kama Xutra!"

Chibi-Xu & Kei: o.O;;

Chibi-Quistis: "Kama...Xutra? What's that?"

Chibi-Sean: [sly grin] "The Anshin art of making love!"

Chibi-Quistis: "What's he talking about?"

Chibi-Xu: [blushing] "Nothing, Quistis-chan."

     [Chibi-Xu angrily turns to Chibi-Kei.]

Chibi-Xu: "You gave him that, didn't you?"

Chibi-Kei: "Oh, you think I'd let him get anywhere near my copy of
it?"

Chibi-Xu: [sweatdrop!] "You...have a copy?"

Chibi-Kei: "Maybe we should get back to stopping Sean before he
shows Quistis the book."

Chibi-Xu: "That's not answering my question, Kei."

Chibi-Sean: [flipping through the book] "Hey look! For this
technique you need some Adamantine, feathers, and...a Grat? Do I
even want to look at the illustrations for this one?!"

Chibi-Quistis: [eyes widening] "Oh my. No one can get into that
position."

Chibi-Sean: "Oh, it's easier than you think. Here, let me
demonstrate."

     [Chibi-Sean abruptly grabs Chibi-Xu by the wrist and pulls
over onto the couch. He opens her legs, putting one over the back
of the couch, and then moves in between them.]

Chibi-Xu: --; "Get off me."

Chibi-Sean: "But Xu, is this not educational? Are we not displaying
our knowledge of classic literature?"

Chibi-Xu: "You're going to be displaying your internal organs in
alphabetical order if you don't get off me."

Chibi-Quistis: "Can I look at the book once you're done with it,
Kei?"

Chibi-Kei: "Um...we'll talk."

     [Chibi-Sean peers over Chibi-Kei's shoulder.]

Chibi-Sean: "Hey, I never saw this section before. What is it?"

Chibi-Kei: "An addition to the newest edition of the book."

     [Chibi-Kei starts paging through a rarely-glimpsed sexction--
er, section of the Kama Xutra.]

Chibi-Sean: o.O; "An all-yuri section?"

Chibi-Quistis: [flipping through her dictionary] "Yuri:
female/female relationships? You mean like how you and I are
friends, Xu?"

Chibi-Xu: ^^;; "No, this is a little different."

Chibi-Sean: "You'd have to be really, REALLY good friends."

Chibi-Xu: "Don't give her any ideas, Sean!"

Chibi-Sean: "Shouldn't it be: don't give the readers any ideas,
Sean?"

Chibi-Xu: "I don't care! You just stop talking."

Chibi-Kei: [randomly flipping through pages] "Did that...did
that...doing that next week...say, that's different."

     [Chibis Kei, Sean & Xu all take a look at the page, and then
abruptly tilt their heads sideways.]

Chibi-Sean: "You'd have to be really flexible to do that."

Chibi-Kei: "How about Xu? She works out a lot. Odds are she could
probably get her body to twist like that."

Chibi-Xu: [embarrassed] "Keeeeeiiiiii...."

Chibi-Quistis: [sigh!] "I'm not sure if I should feel relieved or
dejected that they're not letting me take a look. How bad could it
be? It's just a book."

Chibi-Xu: "We'll tell you about it when you're older, Quistis-
chan."

Chibi-Sean: "Actually, aren't you leaving that up to the Eugene and
the gang in the next--?"

Chibi-Xu: [elbowing Sean in the ribs] "Ix-nay on the oiler-spay,
Sean."

Chibi-Kei: "I think I'm going to borrow this book for my... 
'briefing' tomorrow night."

Chibi-Xu: [dryly] "Don't you mean debriefing?"

Chibi-Sean: "Hey, that's my copy! Get your own!"

Chibi-Kei: "I've got an earlier edition. The yuri chapters are new
and I want to... field test them."

Chibi-Sean: --;; "Cute analogy. Hand over my book."

Chibi-Kei: "Don't make me pull rank on you."

Chibi-Quistis: "I never thought I'd see the day when Kei and Sean 
got into a fight over a book of all things. It must be a very 
important book."

Chibi-Xu: [muttering to herself] "I am *so* going to kill whichever
author was responsible for this omake."

Chibi-Kei: [fighting for the book] "Hand the Kama Xutra over,
cadet!"

Chibi-Sean: [oof!] "Not a chance."

Chibi-Kei: "It's not like you're going to ever need to consult the
yuri section."

Chibi-Sean: >p "Oh, and I suppose you're going to use it for a
Kei/Quistis lemon?"

Chibi's Kei & Xu: o.O

Chibi-Quistis: [scratching her head] "Lemon? What sort of a fanfic
is that?"

     [In that moment of stunned silence, Chibi-Sean takes his
opportunity and wrenches the Kama Xutra from Chibi-Kei's grip!]

Chibi-Sean: "Okay, now the hard part: escaping in one piece."

Chibi-Kei: [grrrrr!] "SEAN!!!"

     [Pulling her katana out from the ceiling, Chibi-Kei proceeds
to chase Chibi-Sean around the dorm room. Chibi-Xu follows in suit,
trying to impale Chibi-Sean with her sai!]

Chibi-Sean: "I might die a horrible death... but that line was so
worth it!"

Chibi-Kei: [death to Sean!] "Oh you don't get off that easy. I'm
going to Full Life your sorry ass, then kill you over and over!!"

Chibi-Xu: "Leave a bit of him for me. As Quistis' guardian, I
cannot let that remark pass without retribution!"

     [The two peace-loving Anshin ladies finally corner Chibi-Sean,
ready to viciously cut him into little itty bitty pieces!]

Chibi-Kei: "Any last words, lemon-boy?"

Chibi-Sean: [sweatdrop!] "A little help here?"

     [Cue Captain Cactuar swooping in, grabbing Chibi-Sean, then
flying out from the dorm room!]

Chibi-Sean: ^^v "Wai! Captain Cactuar saves the day again!"

Chibi-Xu: o.O; "What the hey?"

Chibi-Quistis: [shaking her head] "I never thought reading books
could be so dangerous. Maybe I should take up a safer hobby, like
Chocobo Racing."



     [End!]